Monday, October 06, 2008
Churches are in the movie-making business these days. It’s not all that surprising, really. The technology required to make stunning images is available to just about everyone.
Church folks have long felt that their values and message rarely if ever make it to the big silver screen through established channels. Seated in those arena worship centers now popping up all over the country are writers and technicians and actors and directors and even investors aplenty. And there are, indeed, a few success stories (Facing the Giants). The surprising work of a crew of focused, talented but unlikely people has paved the road – all the way to distribution and release right there in our local multiplex cinema.
Evangelistic film-making has been around for a long time. Billy Graham was one of the first to recognize the power of cinema to touch people’s lives and challenge their thinking. Along with his friend Billy Zeoli, they pioneered a series of such films. We watched them back then – Time to Run, The Hiding Place, Joni, The Restless Ones, The Gospel Blimp. But now, there is a whole new generation of artists creating and producing their original stories. With the advent of home theaters and new ways of delivering content, I’m guessing we’ll see many more.
This weekend we caught the new release of a touching film about marriage. A fireman and his young wife, a community relations director at the local hospital, are seven years into their marriage. Caleb and Catherine Holt are in serious conflict. Their fairy tale romance has turned into a nightmare; both attractive people caught in their demanding careers and living separate lives. Captain Holt commands a motley crew over at the fire station. Catherine is a shining light down at the hospital. But they’ve drifted far apart. Neither believes that the romance that brought them to the altar is retrievable.
I’m trying to remember a film whose aim it is to deal frankly with the issues that divide a married couple and then find a path toward renewal and reconciliation. I can’t think of one. The generally accepted cultural assumption in our world is this: when love goes, so does the marriage and oh well. We’re all resilient. We can find what we’re looking for somewhere else. Mismatches happen. We just move on.
Ultimately, this movie counters that view. The dynamics of conflict are real. But so is the value of hanging on. No matter what. The tension is palpable. And compelling.
Enter Caleb’s (played by Kirk Cameron the former Mike Seaver from television’s Growing Pains) father, a southern gentleman with a story for his self-reliant son. Caleb knows that his folks nearly broke up a short time back. Then something happened. On a walk in the woods, Dad makes a modest proposal – a forty day challenge. He hands Caleb a leather bound journal with handwritten instructions. The reluctant son is willing, but extremely doubtful.
Catherine (played by Erin Bethea, in real life a member at the church that made the movie and more recently Disney World employee in Florida) is, well, seared. The feelings are gone. The respect, absent. Neither of them want to be home. Their dreams have vanished. She’s vulnerable to a doctor’s advances over at the hospital.
Both of them prefer work, where they are valued and admired. But at home, well, it’s an empty, stressful place. They want out.
I won’t spoil the rest. Fireproof (in theaters) comes on strong. Be prepared for a frontal explanation of the Gospel. Bring along your hanky. The emotion is raw. There are a few satisfying twists that will make you glad you stayed all the way to the end.
* * * * * * *
It’s Monday morning. You are a leader. There are lots of threats to marriage out there. This week is no exception. We’re living with a more than usual uncertainty. There is no shortage of doom scenarios floating around in the headlines and in the boardrooms and across the kitchen tables.
Our churches have been intentional about attracting seekers. This is a good thing. But Os Guiness makes profound point. He distinguishes between seekers and drifters. He suggests (in his penetrating book, The Call) that many people we may consider “seekers” are in reality “drifters.” It’s easy to be a drifter. Short term commitments. All options remain on the table. Get uncomfortable, just move on. No need to explain. Move with the herd.
Authentic seekers aren’t content until they find answers. They are ever looking for deeper understanding, higher levels of performance, better ways to explain, greater degrees of efficiency, more powerful measure of impact. It’s a sanctified discontent that drives the seeker towards a fearless pursuit of the truth.
We spent five hours this week with a genuine seeker. Jay Kesler, at seventy-two, is relentless. As I write, a young friend of mine from Kosova is wearing out a pair of shoes on the streets and sidewalks of Washington DC in tireless pursuit of his calling. Festim is a seeker.
Fictional Caleb Holt is a seeker, too. Drifters let it go. Seekers keep on until the promise is fulfilled.
Seek, and you will find.
Copyright Kenneth E Kemp, 2008
Wow, Ken. You speak wisely yet again. The “Drifters” are “looking for God in all the wrong places,” to quote a paper I wrote once on consumer Christianity. The seekers are more like the sheep in the parable, lost but soon found and brought back into the fold. I see broken marriages fequently in my business because stress creates transference and blame destroys relationships. Without God, there is no hope. He will never “let it go!” Jesus instructed us to tell people this. Sometimes, however, they won’t listen. Blessings to all and kudos to healed marriages.
Hi Ken. I think marriage is in trouble these days. I work in a school district where it is common for school employees to live with their significant others, get pregnant, have babies( with showers and all). It’s tough to provide a moral compass when the adults aren’t sure of the value of morality either. Very few “wait” for sex, or have any idea of the intimacy one can experience in a committed, monogomous relationship. Everyone seems to be just giving themselves away without thought or understanding of the consequence. And in our culture, the message, “When the going gets tough, quit and move on to something else.” I haven’t seen this movie, and usually, Christian movies (and novels) bore me to tears. But, I’m willing to give this one a try. Most of us don’t know what we’re getting into when we get married. We hope for the best and plan for the worst. With divorce so acceptable and easily facilitated, who would stay in an unhappy marriage? I think there are legitimate reasons for divorce, and I’m glad it is an option in an untenable situation, but every couple has hard times. There are times when one is just surviving, times when one or the other is sick (physically or emotionally), times when work or children are the focus, deserts and valleys. There are times when two people sleep so far away from each other they almost fall out of the bed, or when no sleep comes and tears soak into the pillows. There are times when one wants to get in the car and just drive away, move to another city, be someone else. There are times of doubt and fear and, ultimately, despair. Sometimes, it is that despair that is a catalyst for change, when giving up is actually the right thing to do. Then, God can work. John Jolliff used to say, ” Sometimes you have to give up the relationship to save the marriage.” Mark and I have just been through some major challenges and changes. I’d love to sit with you and Carolyn and share about it. This has actually been the happiest year of my life.
Ken,
As you and I have had many discussions about Christian films and the desire to improve their production quality, the Kendrick’s and their church are headed in the right direction. Steph and I loved this film and I get the opportunity to promote it as part of my job since it is from Sony’s Christian film unit – Affirm Films.
This week I’m planning on making presentations to the top grocery/drug chains across the country to bring in FIREPROOF on DVD for a Jan. 27, 2009 release (yes I already have the DVD date – is all about the revenues!).
Those same accounts who brought in Facing The Giants on DVD will have another quality film with a Christian message available at your local grocery store. This is the part of my job that I love and the message in FIREPROOF is not only about making marriage a priority but finding the kind of love that can make this happen which comes from a relationship with Christ.
Keep those films coming!
Meech
NOTE FROM KEN – I’ve got to add a comment that will remain anonymous. I got it just this morning. It contains wonderful news. Last time I saw my friend, he was planning to move on. I asked his permission to share his thoughts – here they are –
Ken, you would not believe what has happened. It is a long story. I will call you when I have a minute. The bottom line is, I did not get remarried. I called it off. I am dating my ex-wife! We have fallen in love again. We are doing amazingly well at working through all the hurt, pain and reconciliation. We are seeing a counselor and I actually look forward to our sessions. We are making breakthroughs weekly.
We saw “fireproof” together.
Who woulda thunk it?
NOTE FROM KEN – Here’s one more…
Every Monday morning, I receive a marketing “e-memo” from Roy Williams, the “Wizard of Ads.” Today’s memo has nothing to do with advertising, but it contains valuable advice for men: married, never-married, or divorced.
It’s great stuff… and right on point.
Here’s the link (click or cut-and-paste into your browser)
http://www.mondaymorningmemo.com/?ShowMe=ThisMemo&MemoID=1781
Tim Robertson
Irvine, CA
I have just returned from seeing this film this afternoon with a friend…and although we are way past the need for such, being widowed, we cried most of the way through it and DID relate to the Mom and Dad in the film very much. It’s the kind of film I want to tell the world about!….I am moved to continue to pray that MANY will see it and buy it and use it with their friends. It contains TRUE WISDOM for relationship from beginning to end.
Thanks, Ken, for calling attention to this wonderful film!
I’ll sure be telling as many as I can about it!
Mom
Thanks for the “news” Ken. Will look for this film. John and I enjoy getting videos from the library, and he stumbled upon on last week that really surprised me, in the same sense that you mentioned, that Christians are making good films now. It is, “The Lost Boys of Sudan.”
David and Teresa pointed out one of the Lost Boys, who attends their church in the Carlsbad area. Black as onyx. Made my heart break to think of what he has been through, and what he is still going through in this country.
Thanks for including me in your list.
Lovingly,
Doris
Ken, It is my feeling that every married couple regardless of the state of their marriage, should see this movie. Even found myself recommending the movie to a young man that will be getting married in a few months.
Ken-
This is very cool and hopefully will help open a few male eyes to their woeful lack of understanding on how to get help in their failing marriages. The male ego has among its many flaws a level of SELF pride when it comes to his own marriage issues that exceed his commitment to Budweiser and his favorite sports team during the play-offs.
Christian leaders “WAKE UP”! Take a hard look at the reality at hand… “What God has joined together…” is being “torn asunder” by the Groom. His inability to seek meaningful help is so far off his radar screen, the mere mention of it is simply a cruel or thoughtless joke. We need to help him understand that he is the biggest threat to withstanding the inevitable marriage crises.
After 8 years of marriage I walked out on Maradi and two precious little kids for a month. I loved and embraced this pride with all my heart, knowing its ability to help ME shift 100% of the blame from ME to her. How it would light my way to becoming SET FREE from Spiritual things, attending marriage seminars and Better Yet from the very heart of my marriage vows.
With Maradi’s faith in me, a caring couple and God’s loving kindness I was able to see my faithful friend (SELF pride) for what he really was … the destroyer of reason and true happiness. Freed slowly but with new purpose I was able to focus positive effort into restoring our marriage. This is not intended to imply that Maradi or women in general are innocent; however they are not impacted as often or with the same severity of the “marriage ego” that impacts us (see what I mean, even that statement sounds a bit defensive and prideful). What most women bring to the table in a “marriage in crises” is a willingness to seek and discover the road back to a loving and caring marriage relationship. One that can grow and overcome another crises as ONE.
The sad part is that for ours and other successful marriage restoration stories is that there are hundreds of new stories following closely behind. They are played out in almost every family over and over again. I was not unique and for some reason the “male marriage ego” remains one of the most deadly drugs that is smuggled into the minds of our boys, undetected and virtually unchallenged by government, educators, the church or social outcry.
Once in while Maradi and I see hope:
• In a couple looking for answers,
• A new marriage workshop (quite different from weekend seminars that have yet to identify, let alone impact the “male marriage ego”)
• A film that although offering a momentary pause in the male thought process that allows the seed of self doubt to fall on fertile but un-watered grey matter.
Leaders only need to :
• Recognize a given problem
• challenge other leaders
• effectively communicate
• develop new and creative solutions
• and instill it in the hearts and minds of those impacted by and contributing to the problem
I have laid out the first three for all you; please consider how you can tackle the hard part.
Ted Davidson
Ken:
Lori and I too were touched by this poignant depiction of a fragile marriage in freefall. I fear you are right when you say, “…The generally accepted cultural assumption in our world is this: when love goes, so does the marriage and oh well. We’re all resilient. We can find what we’re looking for somewhere else…” How utterly sad that two committed people would choose such obvious short term distraction over a lifelong promise. Sure, we can all identify with some of the problems Caleb and Catherine faced. No one is perfect and any two adults living in close proximity will have legitimate disagreements, especially when children and finances are involved.
For that reason I am so thankful to have been blessed with deeply committed parents. Subconsciously I observed every conversation they had in my presence. Never once did I see my father raise his voice to my mom, it simply didn’t happen. Rather they did disagree but did so amicably, without shredding the dignity of the other. That’s important and has been key to our inevitable disagreements.
The timing of this movie is important. Ken, you referenced many looming economic issues and it seems likely that increased marital stress will inevitably occur as a result. That said, wouldn’t it be nice to see this movie vault to the top of the charts instead of one about talking chihuhuas from Bevery Hills?
Ken,
Marriage is tough. . . . been married 25 years, moved 18 times, 4 countries, lost a child, adopted a child, more in love with my wife than ever.
Committment, challenge, honesty, fun, fun, try different things, meet new people, keep God at the center. It is tough and worth it.
Wow, what a great bunch of responses.