Monday, June 22, 2009
In a 2008 speech, Barack Obama addressed the issue of fatherhood in America. Understand the context. A full four out of ten American children are born without a father at home. He said, “The duties of fatherhood do not end at conception.” He paused for a moment to let that one sink in. Then he added, “What makes you a man is not the ability to have a child. Any fool can have a child…” Another pause. “That doesn’t make you a father. It’s the courage to raise that child that makes you a father.”
Obama seems quite comfortable as a father in the “fishbowl” we call the White House in large part because he made a commitment to give Sasha and Malia something he did not have as a boy growing up. His own dad walked out when he was very young. When he convinced Michelle to marry him, he took many of his cues from her dad who died two years before they were married. As they courted, he learned a lot about the role of a dad from him. Michelle let Barack know in no uncertain terms that she expected him to take parenting seriously, should that day come.
Obama talked about the little things that count between father and son. His own dad, who abandoned him, still did things that had major impact. When they had next to nothing, he gave young Barack a basketball for Christmas. He introduced his boy to jazz. Both of those little things opened doors to big things. Dads matter, the President said.
CBS Sunday Morning, on their Father’s Day program, captured something of our President’s view of fatherhood. They call it “Father in Chief.”
* * * * *
Matt Luke took the stage on Sunday morning as a local businessman, former professional baseball player, and fellow church member. When Pastor Matthew interviewed him, he talked about his pursuit of a baseball career – and how it landed him first on the Yankees, and then the Cleveland Indians and then the Dodgers and finally the Anaheim Angels. An injury cut his career short – but not so short that one of his many big-league homers was caught on video.
That crushed home run was a special moment for a couple of big reasons. He was an Angel. It was in a game against the Yankees. On the air, the game was called by Angels’ the popular sportscaster Rex Hudler. It was Father’s Day.
After the big-league video from ESPN was played and all of us clapped and cheered, Matthew introduced Hudler who bounded to the front of the room in his Angels jersey, a firecracker of a man full of energy and infectious laughter and good humor and the two giant guys, Matt Luke and Rex Hudler, shared a big old man hug right there in front of the crowd. More applause.
Hudler’s reaction to the homer in the video set up the whole interview – back on that day on television Rex got pretty emotional over the left-hander who smashed that ball high into the upper deck against the Yankees on Father’s Day. And here they were together again on the platform, years later in front of hundreds (actually a couple of thousand for the weekend) of grandpas and dads and boys on Fathers Day. The two of them talked about the things that matter most in life – mainly their commitment to follow Jesus.
And now they are dads.
* * * * *
I sat there thinking about my dad, and how much he would have enjoyed this kind father’s day. He loved it when strong guys came together, open about the hard times but thankful for the great moments that keep us all going. I also thought about my three guys – a son and two sons-in-law and how proud I am of them as dads.
Then a line up of about ten or twelve young couples filed up on that same stage to dedicate their new little children to God. It always gets me, this circle of life – those newbie moms and dads who fell in love back then and look what happened – those beautiful little kids. They’re all standing there not quite sure what hit them. Grandparents shoot photos. They need prayer. They got it.
And I looked around the big room and saw a bunch of older guys who seemed a little uncomfortable sitting there; like maybe their own sons and grandkids dragged them out on a Sunday morning to darken the door of a church which they rarely do and I could tell the whole thing got to them too, like it would have my dad, and did me, and I thought – this is too good. You can tell by just looking at them – they’ve taken some hits. Life has collected its toll. Age is settling in.
But this morning – a reminder: you matter, Dad. You count, Grandpa. You are a loved man. Welcome to where you belong. Take it in.
* * * * *
So they all called in yesterday, my three guys. I let them know. They fill me with pride. They make me smile.
Copyright Kenneth E Kemp 2009
There is nothing like being a dad – hard sometimes but incredibly rewarding most of the time.
Thanks for the reminder Ken.
Regards,
Mark
Well said, bro. As a fellow dad and grandpa, I salute you
.
Hi, Grandpa Ken. I never knew my father because he abondoned us when I was a baby. When my mother remarried, her new Catholic husband was excommunicated from the church because my mom was divorced. He never forgave her. I spent most of my life mourning the loss of someone to call dad. Then a kind pastor (aren’t they all kind?) took my hand, led me to the front of the church, and had me observe the cross. He said that I have always had a Father who loved me unconditionally and would never abandon me, and who, in fact, died for me. At that moment I gave my heart and soul to my Heavenly Father and my life has never been the same. Blessings to all….
Ken;
Nice message, and a great to call to fathers. Not only do fathers need to raise their children, but he also needs to be a Godly role model to his children. His boys should desire to be like him, whereas the girls should desire to have a husband like him. The father is so central to the healthy spiritual and gender growth of their children. From your stats, of the 60% who had a father at home, I wonder how many of us had fathers that were abusive. This can be as damaging, if not more so, than an absent father.
Thanks,
Steve
Kemper….Awesome. I once spoke at a function…the Theme “I found a way to break the chains”. The tape went out and hundreds communicated with me about that talk. Which told me of the number of men in our country who have been crippled by their past. Men become crippled by guilt..guilt of a secret life, guilt of a “Father Wound”, guilt of the past. Satan’s greatest tool to render the strongest men helpless. The chains we carry, that bend our backs, can and will only be erased by, Jesus Christ and His Forgiveness. Many of us had no Father example at home, they were gone. And even yesterday I dealt with that pain at 58 years old. It never leaves you, you just learn to deal with it. I have forgiven my Father, Cling onto Jesua and my Heavenly Father everyday. Yesterday at dinner I looked at my table, a wife of 36 years, and three children that love jesus and will spend their lives serving Him. Blessed. I prayed and thank God that through Him “I found a way to break the chains”
Love you Bro, and I miss “Big Ed” too.
Craig
PS I will be going on the road with Marshall Foster to teach “Family Dynasty”, calling men to become the “Warriors of their Families” and speaking to their hearts about reconciliation. Father to Son.
Malachi 4 VS 5,6.
What a timely post! Our house experienced a wonderful father’s day celebration suffused with tender hand-made cards and sincere well wishes from all three of our little miracles.
Your description of Rex Hudler’s enthusiasm, this “firecracker of a man full of energy and infectious laughter and good humor..” as you put it, seems spot-on.
It reminded me of an interview I heard with Rex and Jim Abbott (also an illustrious former Angel with one hand) not too long ago. What I remember about that interview was not the tired old reminiscing about the good old days from two former elite athletes but rather two fathers discussing the importance (and challenge) of daily fathering.
If I’m not mistaken Rex is the father of a special needs child and he was quite candid during the interview about the emotional impact on their family. His honesty was refreshing and I remember thinking, “…you don’t hear this level of transparency from most broadcasters.”
Anyway, thanks for the reminder of our impact as fathers. Blessings to you and Carolyn!
Clint
Ken,
Great you had such a memorable Father’s Day. I celebrated Father’s Day at Angel Stadium getting photos of the Angel players, up close, as some were also celebrating the day. I have met Rex Hudler and he’s a genuine “firecracker”-all that energy! He brought his son to one of our meetings, and he got “energized” through his dad.
Where does our strength come from? Our Heavenly Father.
Blessings!